Sex is marriage….hmmm

DONT want to read the whole thing: The madras court ruling is good for women in 15 to 30 age groups, who are young and immature and have sex with the idea that it will lead to marriage…and then are left in the lurch under false promises. it does not apply to the Barkha dutts of the world… 30s and 40 plus, cosmopolitan, english speaking, working, choice oriented, please chill pill.

….and now the story!

So ek zaman thaa..when women wanted to hear shaadi before the word “zarra zara touch touch me…” and today  the world is mad ki bhaiyaa “na na nan a rey”…and “You know I like you, I know you like me”….but no need for a love story and definitely not a married one and only “ bas aaj rata kae liyae bahon mein aa soniye” …..
Or so it would seem, so the story is this. “If any unmarried couple of the right legal age” indulge in sexual gratification,” this will be considered a valid marriage and they could be termed “husband and wife,” the Madras High Court has ruled in a judgment that gives a new twist to the concept of premarital sex.” According to a news report in Hindu dated June 17th, this was a repeal of the lower court judgment denying maintenance to a woman suing a man. Now of course, Barkha Dutt of the NDTV, Kargil, and then Radia tapes and Suchitra Krishnamuthry, the second -ex wife to Shekhar Kapoor…and many such are very-very upset… hey we are not being mean just pointing out that, women in their 50s, with cosmopolitan backgrounds, might find this ruling strange and unnecessary but it’s really not about them or for them.
The low-income, lower class Bharat is not going to catch up with the 2 percent living in Bombay, Calcutta, Bangalore, Delhi….(yeah yeah the name has changed)…but the people living in there have not. The key differences in rural and urban Indian and upper and lower classes are not only of values…it is still of choices. We all know we want the good life, the easy life, but our choices of getting there are conditioned by our values. So while, we would like a lifestyle that had people living in Sajid Khan’s Houseful, we are really closer to Gangs of Wasseypur and even yeh jawani for middle class…our choice to get there…that dream destination has now so many pathways, as demonstrated by Sherlyn Chopra and ..what’s the other ones name….umm..(.again not being mean) these are older women, hopefully by the time, women turn 35 they know what they are doing and it’s a choice either ways…I say 2 percent because a majority of women living in urban areas are working poor people, living in cramped one rooms with no toilets, not even clean drinking water, and constantly under threat of violence. Consequently, can you blame anyone for seeking work even in the sex-industry?
Well interestingly enough the ruling says, no third-party involved, well in that case …hmm so many filmi examples of women and men marrying other people’s spouses…eventually…(again not being mean)..just underlining the differences in the concerns of classes and conditions. But aiwaian….anyways baat ho rahi hai uninformed …kacche man and kacchi soch, yep… our 15 plus gals, still really immature, young, believers, and buyers of all things cool, rural and urban alike, who are likely confused by the messages pervasively flowing from twitter to the “bhhotni chasing an almost unchaseable guy” in anamikto “I like being home with my psycho saas” in housewife sab kuch …these ideas are finding a home in their unsuspecting minds. Even as families,  who try to climb the bandwagon of the current values and current norms,. are being preached to by wanna be writers from their Star Plus to NDTV windows, add to their cluelessness… as they ponder…hmmm should my daughter be in a romance, in a sleep-in relationship…should she transition to a live in one…

the urban culture runs havoc with male and female psychology…women are not saying no to marriage, even if that is the feminist dream…they are still looking like crazy for husbands, craving families, and wanting commitment, and guys are looking for free milk or free cows…or free time…till they are ready….
The primarily intra and romantic inter-personal world created through western media is just that a creation, a world that does not allow space for families or their influence except when it is time to pick up the pieces…of broken hearts and spirit. We are saying that this ruling must be seen as a caution to society and to families and to individuals, that if this not what you want and it is only the sex, that is fine but then you and he should be on the same page overtly and covertly. It means you are not sharing dreams, minds, or souls, or hearts, just a bed and a body….and it maybe for an hour or a year. And if your heart is involved and your mind foresees a future…. When you walk away or he walks out, the deed is done.
The court laying this out first of all is not the full judgment…. but in any form, it acknowledges the vulnerability, culpability, and ultimately responsibility of conduct to expect from adults in a collectivist, traditional society.

on the other hand, I wonder if a husband  or wife is now going to sue  to enforce the marriage is sex law….girls…the headaches are going in for a sue it seems.! kidding!


About Chun Mun

Chun Mun are bloggers for E-Women! All the women from the Indian Subcontinent, who have anything to say are a part of the Ewomen Indian world and have this space to share their thoughts. We might not endorse or support any of their thoughts but we endorse and support their right to speak and share their opinions. Ewomen is a document on women's journey as women Reclaim their own identity and Create and Contribute to the lives of others.
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